C-Notes Volume 1 Issue 2

Well, it’s mid-July, and you know what that means kiddo’s, Beaver Island is coming. Now for those of you who don’t know what Beaver Island is let me explain. It is not an island with tons of women willing to donate their beaver to your pleasure. Although that would be an amazing place, it sadly is not true of Beaver Island. Beaver Island is an island (obviously) in Lake Michigan about 30 miles off the coast of the mainland. A music festival of epic proportions takes place here. The festival was started by our good friends simplicity, and Danny and Carol Burton, who own the property upon which the festival takes place. This year everyone’s favorite band, DCarlo, is headlining the first night of the festival (Friday) with the 12-2 slot. This is quite a huge deal. For information about Beaver Island and the other groups playing the festival please follow the link on the main page of our site.

Well now that we have all the formalities about what DCarlo is doing in the near future lets talk about all the things that we have been up to since the premier issue of C-Notes. In June the band headed up to Chris Handloser’s old stomping ground, Lansing. They played at a house party with kegs of beer, naked women running wild in the pristine swimming pool, and enough asparagus to make your pee smell for weeks. I know mine does. Our old buddy Matt Lampkin was in town for this show from Burlington Vermont, and boy were we glad he wore pants this time. More on Matt later in the issue. The band played spectacularly and the crowd responded well, especially the naked women. At one point in the evening I was walking around looking for someone I can’t remember who, and I saw two people getting freaky right on the front lawn. I mean are talking full on penetration. It was scandalous. So after about 5 minutes of staring I got back to the party, I needed a fresh beer…. Anyways we marked that one a success in our day planners and looked on to the next week. And what a week that was. It was time for the greatest poker tournament of all time. Sponsored by yours truly and the fine people at Heavenly Bodies Strippers. The buy in was twenty dollars, the size of the field sixteen players. Add one naked girl serving everyone drinks, and the result is some stiff competition. But I digress. DCarlo’s very own Steve Wereley was the first person to fall. And he fell at the treacherous touch of Franklin Jaramillo. By the end of the night Frank had eliminated more than half of the field single handedly, and held a commanding chip lead. But enough about cards lets talk about our lovely naked waitress named Natalie. She was a blonde bombshell measuring 5’ 7", with a bust size of 36-C. Not to shabby. James DeCarlo himself, was responsible for getting this girl naked. He paid for a lap dance and got way more than he bargained for, although it was still welcomed. We have pictures to prove it. As the stripper rubbed her breasts in his innocent little face, she whispered sweet nothings into his ears. They went a little something like this, "Ok I’m going to stand up and then you take off my panties with your teeth, and then I will shove my beaver (island) in your face. All James could do was lie there like a man and take her word for it, not to mention her dignity. Since I paid for the stripper to show up, at the end of the night she took in the back room for a special private show. Now at this time I must make it perfectly clear that at no point during this dance did any of my clothes come off, except my socks, because she rocked my socks off. This woman danced in ways I never thought possible and did things with he body and my money that would make a blind man cringe, I loved it. Enough about sex and how much it costs, let’s talk about something real something with substance. Like the backyard birthday party DCarlo played with Simplicity last weekend in Royal Oak. The Courtman, unfortunately could not be there for this awesome event, but I have heard stories and let me tell you about the funniest one I heard. A girl took her top off and showed her boobies to the video-camera and the proceeded to jump into the swimming pool. The host of the party was mortified to the point of tears because this half naked girl was her sister. I won’t reveal their names for fear of prosecution but if you know who and what I’m talking about, isn’t that hilarious? Anyways that pretty much brings us up to speed with whats happening in the boring and lonely world of Detroit these days. We hope to see everyone who reads this up at Beaver Island. No seriously, we have this special program that tells us who has been to our website first and last name, and depending on the security system on your computer address and credit card number. Just kidding. But seriously we have one of those. Anyways if we don’t see you at Beaver Island come check the website for all the updates on the wild and crazy stuff you missed up there.

Love,

C-Note

p.s. That shit came off the top of my fuckin head ya’ll