C Notes Volume 1 Issue #3

My fellow droogs, August is upon us and that means summer is almost over. My stay in Detroit has ended but I can still give updates as to what happened between Beaver Island and my departure. Let’s get down to business and stop beating around the bush. I would like to add though that I like bush, or anything that give foliage to the punani area.

Ok, foliage jokes aside Beaver Island was a smash to beat all smashes in the past or future, at least until next years Beaver Island. All the bands that played were great, especially that trio of bands from Detroit known as the Simplidcarlnything. That’s short for Simplicity, DCarlo, and Call it Anything. I thought the guitar player from Call it Anything was especially cute. But I heard he is together with the drummer so I guess that counts me out. We left Detroit on a Tuesday evening. We spent the night at my cottage in Lake City, Michigan. We rose the next morning to find that someone had stolen my credit card number and went on a shopping spree somewhere in Oklahoma and rented a car. My account was frozen and I had no money to go to Beaver Island. We got it cleared up and I was able to withdraw the money I needed thanks to Jerome at Visa Fraud. The Ferry was scheduled to leave at 2 p.m. eastern time. Or maybe it was 2:30, I can’t really remember. We started drinking around 1. Once we were on the boat there was no turning back, at this point in the story I want to make it very clear that I am terrified of boats. They just scare me ok?!?!?!? I wish I could figure out how to make upside down punctuation marks. Well back to the story. By the time we reached the island everyone was sufficiently wasted. That didn’t mean that we were ready to stop drinking though. We hopped in the back of David’s pick-up truck and rode all the way out to the festival site, where we were given places to set up camp. My next door tent neighbor was none other than Chris Handloser of DCarlo. Say hi Chris.
“Hi, Chris!” said Chris.
Crazy Icelanders!!! Anyways we had all kinds of special people come out for the festival. We had those two girls from Vermont with good names, and we had Sara Vicki and Chris from Chicago as well. The list goes on and on but I’m getting close to the bottom of my page and this is still only chapter one. Anyways the first day we were there we went to the beach. Bayard told us that it was about a half a mile away. So we asked Danny to make sure. He told us to follow the telephone poles and we would find the beach. So with ‘Frank the Filipino’ as our tour leader we began what we thought was going to be an easy trek. It turned into the first episode of Gilligan’s Island. What we thought was an 8 pole hike turned into an 8 million pole hike, and when we reached the end of the poles all we found was a rode intersecting at a perpendicular angle. We turned left and eventually found the beach. It felt good to get in the water, and play football. On the walk back I was lagging behind quite a bit with Danielle and Judson. I told Danielle after a Winnebago drove by that the next car to drive by I was going to get in it. And then like an angel upon high a guy drove up in his minivan and offered me a ride. I said hell yes, and invited Jud and Danielle in. He said his name was Bob and that Christians scared him. We said don’t worry, we are alcoholics, and he said sweet. When all 14 of us were in his minivan he told us about these medicine women that were on his property and that they blessed him and he felt like he was on drugs now. We all said sweet come party with us tomorrow when the festival starts. He said sweet dudes let me get a beer. So now I should give all the bands mad props for playing sweet sets all weekend long. The Dcarlo set was awesome, especially the second night when Chris used my Mesa Boogie amp. He sounded prestine… I should also thank Danny and Carol Burton as well as Bayard Kurth for putting on the festival and giving all the bands a chance to play. Big up to Beaver Island!!!
Anyways, the festival changed everyone who was there. It jump started all of us. Every night after that we tried to recreate the awesome time we had up there. Quite possibly the best span of time however was the sextuple birthday weekend celebration zone. This was a period of about four days when we celebrated 6 birthdays. The first was DCarlo’s own Chris Handloser, who turned 26 on July 29. We were in Kalamazoo for the Simplicity show at Bell’s Brewery. We drank Oberon all night long and luckily Chris got laid on his special day. There’s nothing like getting Some Action on youR birthdAy. The next night was back to Detroit with a keg of Oberon to have the ultimate sextuple birthday bash. This night was Stacie with an ‘i-e’ s birthday. Who knows how old she turned, we just know she’s legal and has the biggest breasts I’ve ever seen on someone that small . Other birthdays celebrated at this celebration were Handloser, Jerry Garcia, mine, Steve Garcia, and Steve’s girlfriend Heather. It was quite a night and we had quite a turnout. Not to mention going to CJ Barrymore’s beforehand for pizza and putt putt golf. It was sweet. The next night was a going away party for ‘Frank the Filipino’s’ little sister Jesse and her hubby Tommy and their baby Ethan Oliver. It was heartwarming. Flash ahead to August 2. My official 21st birthday. What did we do? I took 13 people out to eat at Fishbones!! Crazy I know. We then went to Bazouki for some titty action in our faces. I got the most amazing bonerfying lap dance of my life. I’m still a little hard actually, and my underpants are still stuck to me. I know what you are thinking and no you can’t see. Well I’m running out of steam so I will now flash ahead one week to my going away party. I bought $200+ worth of beer for everyone to drink. I had a pretty good turnout to show me off, but there is one event that will stick in my mind forever. By the time it happened I was wasted as can be and I can’t remember what I was doing right before it happened or right after it happened but it definitely happened. All I remember is walking out onto Steve’s back porch and someone saying ‘Do it again, do it again. Hey Courtney watch this.’ I looked over to see what was happening and I saw three lovely ladies making out with eachother. At this point I almost creamed my jeans. Then I decided wait a minute there is an open spot for one more to join in on this fun. So I hopped right in there and joined the tongue massaging action. It was splendid. I then made out with two of the girls on the side. But I’m pretty sure that it had to do with my extreme amount of attractiveness that night and not because we were wasted and I just made out with three girls. To this day I’m not entirely sure who the three girls are, but I have a pretty good idea. I should really talk to someone who was there and find out. Anyways I’m closing in on the ending of my second page and I feel like I can’t be funny too much longer and still make people laugh today in the real world. That and my cable guy is supposed to be here at eleven and its 10 to. Ahhh shit piss fucking cunt asslicker queefiness. Sorry, my computer has touretts syndrome. Anyways be sure to check out DCarlo and other bands at the east x eastside show on August 20. Also if you like what you see on this page write Judson an email and he will give you my number and you know we could just like talk or whatever.

Love, C-Note

p.s. That shit also came off the top of my head, also.