C-Notes Volume 1 Issue #4
The Halloween Issue

Well campers, fall has started, and with that comes school. It seems like only yesterday I was writinAg the first C-Notes and summer was just starting. Now summer is officially over, and fall has officially begun. Its October and at the end of October comes Halloween. This reminds me of what we all did last year on Halloween, and how we all almost lost eachother forver. It’s a dark and perilous tale into our past, and even as I am typing this my hands are shaking a little. So without any further a doodoo here is the story, fuckhead.
It started out as a normal day, as most days do. But it didn’t stay normal for long. I woke up to find that I was alone in my house, as usual. My brother had gone to school, and my parents had gone to work. For those of you who don’t know, my house is very big and it echoes quite easily. Not only that, many years ago in the 20th century there was a family living there with a maid. She lived in the basement of the house. The family treated her extremely bad, and they swore that if she ever told anyone or tried to leave they would lock her in the furnace room forever! Finally the pressure became too much, and it was either buy a dildo or suicide, and since masturbation was frowned upon in those days, she decided to kill herself. She slit her wrists in a window well in my basement, and then the fat lady sang. It was a nice tune, although a little to upbeat for the occasion. Well, long story short she lives in my basement still and if you are down there long enough she will make her presence known to you. Once in the middle of a game of pool, one of the balls disappeared from the pockets, and was missing for months, then out of nowhere it was replaced in the middle of the table. I didn’t go in the basement alone for weeks after that. A good friend of mine Benjamin Jefferson Kim, once tried to help me contact the spirit, but it was no use. Anyways, back to the real story. I will try not to go on any more tangents like that.
I was down in my basement eating cheerios and looking at porn, cornerstones of any good breakfast, when I felt a sort of draft behind me. I turned to find nothing there. Then the phone rang and I nearly shit my pants, which is no fun when you are trying to cream your pants(remember the porn?) Anyways it was my parents saying that they were heading up to the cottage with my brother and I was going to have to stay home all weekend and take care of the dog. Don’t have anyone come over to the house, they said, its too dirty. Yeah right dude, you are leaving me alone for the weekend and I’m not going to throw a Halloween party? Amateurs. So I called everyone in the crew and told them that I was having a Halloween party and to come dressed in a scary costume prepared to have a sÈance in my basement. Everyone showed up around nine that night dressed for the occasion, except for Pete. We figured this would happen so we let him get away with it. While we were all hanging out upstairs in the living room we heard something below us in the basement, and then almost simultaneously something above us in the master bedroom. Everyone thought it was a joke I was trying to play on them, and wouldn’t believe me when I said it wasn’t. I went into the kitchen and I passed the hanging lamps I noticed that the metal rings around the bottom of them were missing, and the lamps were all swaying a bit from side to side. I thought what the fuck who took those shits. When I confronted everyone about it no one knew what I was talking about. So I said fine lets go in the kitchen and I will show you what I’m talking about. But when I took everyone into the kitched the rings were back on the hanging lamps and they were completely still! I couldn’t believe my cute little eyes. Everyone was like dude you are losing your mind, get a life freakheadface. I said fine jerks lets go in the basement and see whats what when the ghost gets all you and we finish all the beer ourselves, bitches!
As we made our decent down the stairs, people started complaining about it was getting colder with every step that they took. I felt fine, and said see all ready the ghost is pissed at you for not believing me about her. As Erin O’Brien and Andi Nadeau started the chanting for the sÈance, I noticed something very strange in the corner of my eye. But when I looked it was gone. A sly smile grew across my face, as I began to realize that the events in the immediate future were going to scare the shit out of everyone who survived. When Erin and Andi announced that they could feel a presence were going to try and contact it, Brian Moore started having a violent coughing attack. We were all worried sick when he started violently throwing his body everywhere also. Then all of a sudden he just stopped coughing, his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell face first onto the ground. Maybe the strangest thing about the position he fell in was that his right hand was directly under his crotchal region. I laughed and though of that morning. He was directly in the center of the circle too, which everyone else seemed to find more signifigant, so naturally I agreed too. Then with no warning at all Erin O’Brien started talking in a really deep voice that sounded in two octaves at the same time. I knew instantly it was not Erin talking to us, but a spirit from beyond the grave. Our favorite guitar player Chris Handloser started laughing cause he thought it was funny, but then Erin said something I never thought I would hear her say. This one deserves quotaion marks.
“Chris you insolent son of a bitch, you listen to me and you listen good. My name is Matilda and I am the ghost that haunts Courtney’s basement. I know what you’re thinking, and no you can’t call my Matil. Only my closest ghost friends can call me that.”
Is that fucked up or what. I sat in awe as Erin began to levitate above the ground. She turned toPete and said, ‘hey you, yeah you with the “life is good” hat. Why the fuck aren’t you wearing a costume? It’s fucking Halloween dipshit.’ Pete said, ‘what the fuck are you talking about, you’re fucking dead you cant tell me what to do, this is my bus we’re going where I say we go.’ Of course he was speaking metaphorically. And with that one bit of insolence she lost her patience with all of us and began by casting a terrible spell on Pete, and he immediately began to spew a think green vomit everywhere. He immediately passed out and began to levitate himself. She moved on to Frank and Francis who began having violent seizures from the waist up that concluded when they butt heads and passed out. I could not believe what I saw before me. Four of my guests had passed out, Erin was possessed by the ghost from my basement, who was apparently called Matilda, and as I looked all around me the rest of my friends were all getting violently ill and seizuring all over the place. I was the only one that nothing was happening to. I couldn’t believe it. But that’s when it did start happening to me. I began to levitate over the ground, and I noticed that my mouth was talking but I had no control over the words that were coming out of it, and the voice was not my voice, it was a voice similar to the one coming from Erin’s mouth. The voice said he was the ghost from the upstairs master bedroom and that if Matilda didn’t let all the people go from her ghastly spells he would be forced to vanquish her spirit from my house. Besides he said, you have been lousy in bed for the past fifteen years I need some new ghost taco. They then had the most terrible ghost battle ever witnessed. The vessel my body against Erin’s body. Her first instinct go for my balls. I have never felt pain like that pain when Matilda kicked me in the balls. Not only that, when she kicked me for that split second she stopped having the physical appearance of Erin and I could see what the ghost really looked like. I nearly shit my pants for the second time that day. The fighting went on for what seemed like hours, but then out of nowhere the ghost from upstairs laid a crushing blow to the side of Matilda’s face and she fell to the ground. He then said a weird spell in a language I had never heard before. Must be a ghost language or something. And with that I could see the fallen spirit of Matilda rise from Erin’s, let out a strange farting noise and float away out of my house. I then fell to the ground. As I opened my eyes I did not know how much time had passed from when I fell. Everyone around me was still passed out. Then they all slowly began to wake up. No one knew if what had just happened was real or not. But when everyone started asking the same questions we knew it had been real. Someone looked at their watch and said holy shit, only three minutes have passed since Erin started talking in that strange voice. Everyone started freaking out, and we ran upstairs grabbed the stash of beer, and moved the party over to Steve’s house who had refused to come out because he had a specific piece of information about some candy company and he refused to support the Halloween holiday because of it. That’s the end of my story, and if it seemed incoherent at times that’s because in real life it seemed extremely incoherent and unexplainable. I have done my best to bring you the facts as the happened that fateful night last Halloween.
Love, C-Note

p.s. that shit came off the top of my head y’all